Ways to quit porn: mantra, exercise, routine and accountability
Desire is a bucket of muddy water being stirred. Stop stirring and it clears on its own. The six directions below are "stop stirring" plus "change the water". You do not need all of them. Pick two or three to start.
1. Cut off: turn off the tap first
Water stays muddy because someone keeps pouring mud in. Pull out that pipe and the water has a chance to clear.
Clear every collection
Delete the videos, bookmarks and accounts on your phone and computer. Leave the groups that pass explicit content. Keep one, and you have kept a road back.
Have someone install a filter and keep the password
Install a content filter on phone and computer. Let a family member or friend hold the password. It only works if you do not know it.
No phone in the bedroom
Charge it in the living room an hour before bed. Lying in bed scrolling late at night is the peak hour for relapse.
Find a partner who will not go easy on you
Ask a friend who will truly hold you to it, and text them daily. Quitting alone is hard. Two is far easier.
Write down your triggers
Which people, times, places and moods bring the thought out. Write them down, then avoid them one by one.
Decide in advance what you do when the urge comes
Go out and walk, splash cold water on your face, do twenty push-ups, make a phone call. Do it the moment the thought arrives.
2. Turn: unstirred water clears itself
Desire is a thought, not a command. When it comes, you can leave it alone. It fades on its own within ninety seconds.
Three breaths before deciding
The instant you want to look or go, stop and take three slow breaths. Three seconds is often the difference of a lifetime.
Three contemplations
Older as mother, peers as sisters, younger as daughters. See beauty as enemy and poison. See the flesh, blood and pus beneath the skin. Practise daily, and when the moment comes the thought turns by itself.
Six levels from Turning Back from the Sea of Desire
Contemplate the suffering of the womb, the impurity of the body, the filth of bodies, the decay of a corpse into bones, the arising and ceasing of all things, and finally yourself in a lotus before Amitabha, vowing to leave the pit of lust forever.
Write the consequences as a list
What misconduct destroys: health, career, marriage, children, credit, fortune. Put the list on your phone's home screen. Read it when the urge comes.
Remember that thoughts count
The Shurangama Sutra says "not lustful in mind", not "not lustful in body". The moment the mind moves, the entry is written. Quit from the thought, not from the act.
3. Recite: a daily bath for the mind
Dirty water has to be changed. A fixed daily recitation is a fresh change of water every day.
The Shurangama Mantra
The Shurangama Sutra says that until lust is removed you cannot leave the dust, and this mantra is the remedy. Recite once each morning. If you have not memorised it, listen and follow along. The heart of the mantra alone is fine.
A Buddha's name
Amitabha, Guanyin Bodhisattva or the Medicine Buddha. Choose one. The moment desire stirs, recite until the thought scatters. Those with heavy desire should recite Guanyin's name and the six-syllable mantra daily.
Read the Four Clear Instructions on Purity
Read the passage once a day, until "until lust is removed, you cannot leave the dust" sounds in your own voice.
Confession and dedication
Each night, confess openly, name your faults, hide nothing. Bow to the Buddha, do the Eighty-eight Buddhas repentance, or recite the Heart Sutra or the Diamond Sutra. Then dedicate the merit to your own success in quitting, and to those you have hurt.
4. Body: redirect the energy
Energy is like water. If it does not flow into the field, it flows into the ditch. Spend it on the body, and there is none left for the ditch.
Thirty minutes of exercise a day
Running, squats, push-ups, swimming, anything that spends the energy. A body after exercise rarely stirs with lust.
One hundred and eight prostrations
Exercise and repentance at once. Sweat through and the mind settles too.
In bed before eleven
Staying up late is the peak hour for relapse. One hour earlier is one chance fewer.
Plain food
Less spice, less alcohol, less meat. Alcohol is the kindling of lust; both the Shou Kang Bao Jian and the lay precepts stress plain, clean eating.
Cold water, standing practice, walks
When a thought comes, wash your face in cold water or take a cold shower. Day to day, do standing meditation, qigong or walks to settle the blood and breath.
5. Do good: refill the fortune
Fortune that has leaked away is refilled by good deeds. Zhao Yanshi in the Shou Kang Bao Jian quit lust, paid to print books for others, and had six sons.
Share articles on quitting
Share this site or its articles with someone who needs them, or print and give away good books. Helping one person turn back is the greatest merit.
Honour your parents
Your body came from them. Do the chores, make the call, share a meal. When filial feeling rises, lust weakens.
Give and help
Donate blood, donate money, volunteer, help a stranger. Be careful with releasing animals, so that seeking merit does not fuel their capture.
Dedicate the merit
After a good deed, dedicate it to your own success in quitting and to the people you have hurt.
6. Community: do not quit alone
Holding on alone is exhausting. Walking with others, the road does not feel long.
Look at the counter every day
Watching the number grow is the cheapest motivation there is.
Write your experience down
Even "I made it through today". The sentence you write will be the reason someone else makes it.
Read what others wrote
Know that others are quitting like you, falling like you, and getting up like you.
Talk to someone
If you are in Taiwan, the 1925 line is free, 24 hours, every day. If the addiction is already harming your life, see a psychiatrist or counsellor. There is no shame in it.